I decided to change my name back to my maiden name. Because I didn’t like his last name in the first place. That’s why. (Did you read that in your best eight year old sass? Because that’s the way I wrote it, damn it, read it that way.) I never liked his last name, but was always too embarrassed to ever say anything. So there you have it.
I had to move out of the house we lived it, because he would like to buy me out of it and keep it. Keep the damn thing. Ugh. It leaks. The basement, the roof, the bedroom, it fucking leaks. But it is a good idea for him to have it because I get all the rest of the stuff in the house and this way there is some consistency for the kids.
I get a new license. Like update my identification. With a new/old last name.
So there are things to do. Here’s the list:
1. Go to the Social Security Office and change my last name. – done!
2. Buy/find a house. – ugh…..let the house hunt begin…..
3. Go to the DMV and update my license. – Fuck that shit. They’re ass holes and they made me cry. I hate crying.
So here’s the story. The Social Security Office has a nice little check list of things you need to change your name. That was so easy! I brought in all the stuff and I didn’t even need it. They must have seen my cute face and thought – awwwwww, let’s not give her a hard time. Let’s let the DMV do that for us. Poor thing. Just got divorced.
Then, find a realtor. That was easy. Next select a list of things you want in a house. Okay, I can do that. See houses. Seven in one day – it’s on the schedule….we shall see how it goes.
DMV. These people, well not the people but the bureaucratic mess, are ass holes. Funny enough, they have information on the internet to check off what you need to do to update your license. I bring in all the recommended information sans new address, because I live with my friend, I have no bills there, I have nothing there, I do not permanently live there. Many people probably have this problem, correct? Not everyone owns part of the house they are living in. There are people in my situation and other situations that need to update their names on their driver’s license in order to use it as proper identification for credit card purchases, etc., right???? So, I wander into the local DMV, and surmise that it will be as easy as updating my social security card, because that’s a little more secure than a damn license, or it should be. But no. They politely explain that I need a current address. So, I leave and come back again later….new person helping, this really should be easy. I explain that I really don’t live anywhere, I’m between houses. I’m staying with a friend and I could be staying with my parents off and on, but I will be finding a house. But in the mean time, I’d like some identification with my name on it, my current name, the one that is on my social security card. She explains that I need an address. I am armed with retorts, including the fact, but not limited to, “I don’t need to have a home, just a car to drive. I could live out of my car for all intents and purposes. I don’t have to have an address!” Damn it, as the tears fall down my face, damn it all to hell. I don’t have a fucking address. I don’t have a place to call my own. I am lost at the moment, wandering, finding my fucking journey to peace and happiness and it doesn’t have a house number or a street attached to it. The tears are streaming now, I am loudly sobbing, as the woman apologizes and hands me a tissue, I take my things and try to leave with some semblance of confidence and dignity. Truthfully, I leave like a homeless vagrant who hasn’t showered in three days, embarrassed and shamed for having attempted to follow the law and update a piece of identification necessary to drive the vehicle I’m about to utilize to go to a location that I cannot call my own.